Today has been so damn emotional. I have cried most of the day and feel so out of sorts it's not funny. My poor husband, I've sent him a million text messages complaining about just about everything. Finally my last message was "I'm sorry, I don't hate you I love you I just need a hug."
I am really regretting a huge decision I made a few months ago. It's really affected me and has made me feel depressed recently. I hate that I felt like I had to make the decision. It just sucks and now I'm stuck for probably 30 years. I am also upset about not feeling like I can ever get anything accompolished. Recently I have been in contact with a lot of my former HS classmates, they all are doing great. Have great houses, jobs families and got out of our hometown. Here I am still in the same hometown, with a wonderful marriage and family, but the rest is all blah. I never finished my college degree and everyone else I graduated with did, I feel like the loser.
WOW, Misti you are in a GREAT mood today. Want a side of cheese with your WINE?
No thanks I'll pass, I hate cheese.
I had postpartum with Zachary, honestly it got pretty bad and I had to be put on anti-depressents. I wonder if the fact that I am not nursing as much and not pumping (not my choice but my employer really doesn't give me the time to do it anymore.) as much is causing my hormones to be unbalanced and causing me to feel so out of wack. I need to call my doctor, but I'm not allowed to take time off work to go to an appointment so what am I to do?
I guess I just needed to vent and to type my feelings. You never know this post might be deleted or at least not marked for show in a few days. It all depends on my mood.
I don't feel any better, but I guess I needed an outlet and you my blog friends were it. Sorry for using you.
On a side note I still need to vote today. I wasn't able to go before work due to the fear of being a minute late and getting in trouble (my 1st evaulation is this Friday). So Mike the boys and I are going to battle the 5:00 RUSH and pray we don't have to stand in line for 3 hours.
13 years ago
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4 comments:
I'm really sorry you are feeling so bad! I was on anti-depressants actually for a few years even before I got pregnant with Dalen. It's embarrassing to admit that. If you need help though, ask for it. Plus, it sounds like you have a great husband that supports you, and you have us here in blogland to vent to. I totally understand what you are going through, well, maybe not exactly, but you get the point. Take care, tomorrow will probably be a better day. *Hugs*
I am so sorry you are having the blues ... please know that you from the outside looking in you have a wonderful life. You may not feel accomplished but you are - 2 beautiful boys and a wonderful hubby!
Hang in there and head up! Hugs from me to you ...
PS Tell your work to buzz off your feeling and life are FAR MORE important!
If it's any consolation when I quit pumping for Kyle, my hormones did go totally out of whack for awhile!
Hope you're feeling better today!
I've been a mess the last few weeks too. Just started Zoloft and can't wait for it to kick in. NEver in my life have I been on an antidepressant. THey are saying depression from aneurysm and post partum from everything. I can't wait to feel normal again...email me sometime and we can exhange numbers and talk if you want!
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