Miscarriage

I am not going to write much.

I lost my baby on Monday, June 25. I had to have a D&C to remove the baby on Tuesday, June 26.

I have no fucking clue why I lost the baby. I was 9 weeks 5 days. I'm at a loss for words to describe how I am feeling. I think I'm numb.

All I have to say is it is so unfair to have something you changed your life for, you loved and cared for with every ounce of your soul ripped away from you unknowingly. I thought I would know if my baby died but I didn't. How can I be pregnant and not know the baby inside of me was sick and dying? Mother Nature is cruel.

I don't know if I'll ever post in here again.

My friend sent me this poem. It pretty much sums every thing up as far as feelings:

Just Those Few Weeks

For those few weeks-
I had you to myself
And that seems too short of time
To be changed so profoundly

In those few weeks-
I came to know you...
And to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks-
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight

Just those few weeks-
It wasn't enough time to convince others
How special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died
And no one is morning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks-
And no "normal" person would cry all night
Over a tiny unfinished baby,
Or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day
No one would, so why am I?

You were just those few weeks my little one
You darted in and out of my life too quickly
But it seems that all the time you needed
To make my life so much richer
And give me a glimpse of eternity.

(By Susan Erlin - found on the internet)